There are two things I almost always hear when I tell someone I homeschool my son. The first thing is usually “OH!,” as though a spider just crawled over my shoulder and surprised them. The second thing, without fail, will be a remark or concern about “socialization.”
It was my first concern when we started discussing the idea of homeschooling our kids. The second was stigma, but it’s my thinking that a stigma has to be accepted by the stigmatized to gain legitimacy.
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Our babes are a wee 6, 4, 2, and under 1. So the times, they are constantly a-changin. My heart has been warmed numerous times by the camaraderie shared by the older two boys. They’ve been such tight friends over the years.
Okay, now truth. Seriously, they hang out all day long. IN the trees, ON the couch, racing around the dining room table, hanging off of me (literally), and they TALK the entire time. So you’d THINK that at the end of the day, after all that talking and playing and running that they’d pass right out as soon as their wee heads hit their cheap pillows. But you’d be disappointed. I mean surprised. I mean disappointed. Because they talk. And talk. For another hour and half sometimes. What the world could they POSSIBLY have to talk about. My wife and I haven’t seen each other all day, and we’re sitting on the couch, silently, listening to them chatter upstairs, in zombie like reverence.
Anyways, they’re friends.
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As “Tig” (the older; dubbed because he is CONSTANTLY bouncing, and Tigger’s love to bounce), is navigating through his sixth year, his confidence in his own abilities, knowledge, and general stature as an authority in the world has taking a radical leap. Which has really been great for his studies. HOWEVER, it is also affected his “attitude,” particularly in relationship to his main social contacts, those being his parents and his siblings.
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There’s a gate between the dining room and the kitchen. If you have had kids, you’ve had some version of this gate. No, not like the Black Castle of Mordor with the guards, spears, and giant Ogre’s to open and close the heavy gates. Those weren’t on sale the day we went shopping, though I’ve had my eye in CraigsList™ pretty steadily. We say it’s to keep the kids safe from the implements in the kitchen, BUUUUUUUUUUT I think we all know- they are a shield and refuge, a tower against the storm, a high tower from the assault.
That’s just from my perspective. For them, it’s more like the windy turnstile gates in fast food restaurants or in amusement parks- they go back and forth, back and forth (it’s only a 30” door, for pete’s sake!) trying to weave themselves to the “front.” Where they can be served.
Let’s see, let me think: 30” doorway, 3 kids- that’s 10” per kid.
UNLESSsssss you’re the biggest, in which case it’s 20” for me, and you two can fight for the difference. This, ladies and gentlemen is what Jesus meant when he said “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”
Or not.
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Seriously. If your children have siblings, they get all the socialization they need at home. Doesn’t matter if it’s 2 kids or 8. If they are in competition for air with somebody, and there is an authority figure present, you have all the building blocks to “socialize” your kids. And you’ll be surprised at how much you gain from a little socialization as well.
Don’t wait for pre-school, kindergarten, driver’s-ed. We have our own little reality at home, where we can set the boundaries of reality and fantasy. Where we can set the mandates and rules, and where we can say KNOCK THAT CRAP OFF! YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A PUNK AND BEING A PAIN IN MY NECK!
Or something along those lines.
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What opportunities have you had to “socialize” your kids at home? How have you seen those moments played out again in public? What tips would you offer the parent of a young child like me?
